If you ever happen to stumble upon this book and decide to buy it... yeah, please don't read this book.
Trouble brews when Quincie Morris and her uncle decide to remodel the family restaurant with a vampire theme. One month before the grand reopening the chef is mauled to death in the kitchen and the murder suspect is... a werewolf!
Quincie has to transform Henry, the new chef, into Sanguini's vampire extraordinaire - and fast. But strange things are happening to her boyfriend, Kieren, and a deadly love triangle forms.
I was originally going to write a Currently Reading post on the likes of Tantalize, however after realising my feelings would probably stay the same throughout, I decided to just finish the book and put my thoughts into the one post, because then at least I won't end up repeating myself. So, here we go!
Cynthia Leitich Smith's Tantalize (2007), is a Supernatural-Romance novel about Quincie Morris, an orphan who has come to own the restaurant of her late parents, which she has decided to transform into a Vampire themed extravaganza, due to competition. Her best friend and love interest, Kieren, is a werewolf hybrid. As Quincie's restaurant transforms, her head chef is murdered, and it puts the opening at stake (oooh, a pun!) a month before the newly themed restaurant will debut. In comes
It isn't just appetizers on the menu, it seems.
The amount of times that I wanted to put this book down and ignore it, never to finish its contents, was rather uncanny.
... Can I get a medal for actually completing this pile of trash? Please?
I read Tantalize at an agonizing slow pace, and not because the book was hard to read, in fact, it's one of the easiest books I have read in a while. No, it was everything else about it that made me not want to read it, or at least, read as few chapters at a time as possible, because good grief, this book was bland.
Zero atmosphere, no chemistry between the characters whatsoever, the direction is completely lost to the world in this story, the writing is devoid of any emotion possible, and there is no character development whatsoever. Simply put, if you're looking for a fun summer read, this book is not it. Put it down, don't buy it, don't even take it if someone offers you it. Just burn it, because Holy Heck, this shit is worse than Twilight.
Bella had more bloody substance than Quincie did! That said, at least this tripe wasn't as atrocious as Evermore from the Immortal series was. Praise be!
Oh, and let's take a brief moment to note that this book is basically Smithgender-flipping Bram Stoker's Quincie Morris, of the book Dracula, and making him a modern day gal. I suppose this is paying homage or tribute, huh?
I honestly don't know how this book got published; I have a feeling the publishers read the premise, enjoyed it, but didn't bother with the content, because this is some shockingly poor writing. It's not that Smith doesn't have talent, because I don't doubt she does, it's just that here... well, there was nothing. She lacked in creating a good atmosphere, there was no anticipation, the characters were all over the place and lacked personality, the chemistry between everyone was non-existent, and there truly is no direction here. It's just a block of writing mushed together, all 310 pages of it! Really, reading this, it felt like there was no movement with those story, zero flow... I just felt like I was reading a boring piece of text, like a Liscencing Agreement.
That said, this book does have its merits.
Firstly, it's rather easy to read, and whilst I was easily bored by it and chose to read it at the slowest pace possible, I know that I could have easily sped-read this in a day or so, simply because it is not a difficult book to read. Smith has very simple writing, to put it bluntly, even if whatever she wrote here was a pile of bull. You just cruise along to it, and hey presto, finished!
Secondly, the idea is actually good - I like the plan that was set for this book; a world where we know vampires and were's exist, however both are hidden for their own reasons. It's a bit like The Southern Vampire Mysteries (True Blood), except, this idea was made for teens, and was poorly executed to the point where the idea is almost useless. The tags of vampire and were are still there, however the presence of these creatures is so non-existent. You know they're there because Smith puts them there, but she doesn't give history or depth to anything at all, so the idea just never feels complete. It's like a label, one without instructions or pointers.
Also, Quincie's drinking problem; though I didn't see reason for it at first in the book, Quincie's developing issue with wine (particularly the red wine), actually has reason here, and I found the idea to be quite clever once the reason for getting her pissed beyond belief and turning the girl into an alcoholic was revealed. It was a plot element done quite well, actually, and I was, surprisingly, impressed by that (which happened very rarely with this book).
It's one of those rare occurrences where this book took the time to make sense, you know?
To its credit, the book actually got pretty good in the last three chapters, about. Like, there were a few things here that I did not expect at all. For instance, spoiler alert, that her were-uncle (his being a were and how he is one is left unexplained, of course) was in on the head Chef's murder - that knocked me over a bit, because I didn't expect it. So, whilst this book lacks severely in the good writing department, atmosphere, presence, depth... at least Smith has a sense of Mystery about her, because good grief, there was nothing else that great about Tantalize.
Thing is, the semi-good stuff happened in the last few chapters, so honestly, don't waste your breath on the rest of it. It ain't worth it, plus, I spoiled the best bit already. Thank me later, I've saved you all pain and misery.
Leaving the good points of this book, the few that are there, I want to note how bad this book could get; it tried to be Sexy.
It was cringe-worthy, and every time a 'sexy' scene came up, I just burst out laughing from second-hand embarrassment for the author. Generally, these scenes came out of nowhere (like a good amount of this book, actually), and were so poorly placed, that I couldn't help but find them stupidly funny.
That said, I am thankful Quincie doesn't have an 'Inner Goddess' to steer her along. I might have just thrown this book out of the window, if that had happened.
In short though, this book is poorly written, rarely makes sense, is terribly executed, the characters don't develop at all, and it tries so damn hard to be sexy that, in the end, it only makes the storyline worse. It's horrible, and even with its few good merits, it's just a pile of trash that I hope to never read again.
... But, at least it's not Evermore. Holy shit, I might have cried if it was anything like that book!
Tantalize... TRASH!!! Throw it in a fire and call it a day. THE END!
It took a while to eventually write this review, but, FINALLY, it has been done, and now I can continue on with life, and finish reading Star Dancer. Now, there's a good book!
Until next time! Keep up the reading, and enjoy your well-written books! Life's too short to waste it on terrible writers, isn't it?
~ Kelly
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